I Didn't Lose Anything!

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!" Romans 8:15-17 MSG

I've had people tell me that I need to grieve who I was prior to my diagnosis. 

I will never underestimate the fact that this might be an issue for some, but it doesn't ring true for me.

I have not changed. I was diagnosed with a disease. My faith has not wavered, I'm not mad at God. I still love to laugh, etc.  It was not a death sentence and even if so, I know God is faithful.

I've also had people tell me to grieve the loss of my breasts. Again, I mean no harm if this is something you've struggled with. But, this kind of made me laugh because I didn't lose them, leave them somewhere, or lock them in a car; they were surgically removed to save my life! 

When I started this whole process, it was with good belief that I would not need chemo or radiation, so finding out that I now am facing a twelve-week process with four doses of chemo was difficult. It took me a moment to figure out why it upset me so, and I figured out it was because I hadn't really faced the disease itself. I faced the surgery like someone may face a gallbladder or appendicitis procedure, I go in they remove the problem and-boom-done! Chemo made it real to me that I had a disease. The disease has been removed, but I need to follow through to make sure it's nowhere else in my body. 

What I'm about to lose is my hair! In preparation for this I cut eleven inches off and donated it. My hair will began falling out right around my 40th birthday and Thanksgiving, but hey I'm alive! I have an unbelievable inheritance in Christ and He's with me in good times and hard times.

My prayer is that whatever you are facing--the good, the bad or otherwise that you will look to Jesus. He sees. He cares. Don't blame God if you're facing adversity. Ask Him to hold your hand. Ask Him what He might want you to learn or who He wants you to minister to in the process. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Instead, dig deep and be confident of Whose you are!